TaleCatcher

Me too! (I have not forgotten)

"I am cherry alive!" the little girl sang

Delmore Schwartz

"I am cherry alive," the little girl sang,
"Each morning I am something new:
I am apple, I am plum, I am just as excited
As the boys who made the Hallowe'en bang:
I am tree, I am cat, I am blossom too:
When I like, if I like, I can be someone new,
Someone very old, a witch in a zoo:
I can be someone else whenever I think who,
And I want to be everything sometime too
But I don't tell the grown-ups: because it is sad,
And I want them to laugh just like I do
Because they grew up and forgot what they knew
And they are sure I will forget it some day too.
They are wrong. They are wrong. When I sang my song, I knew, I knew!
I am red, I am gold, I am green, I am blue,
I will always be me, I will always be new!"

On friends

I've never been able to get my head round  something which should be simple, and what shouldn't even be an issue: distinguishing between having a friend and being a friend.

I was privileged to have (be?) a friend to a girl named Courtney for a few years. Courtney had a severe mental retardation and though she was fifteen when I met her, she had the mental capacity of an 18 month-old. It was terrible to see, not just because of her limitation, but because all the joy of discovery had gone a long, long time ago. Nothing surpirsed her, nothing thrilled her. I used to lie on the floor next to her and we'd look at each other, and she would touch my face. Or I would walk her around the room with my arms stuck under hers. I was only about twenty at the time. I'm told Courtney died a few years ago.

There are others who are not physically or mentally disabled, but are also limited in what they can give back, or unlimited in what they need. When it's not cut and dry, to my shame I instinctively look for what I am going to enjoy about someone's company. We all do. It's part of having friends. Just being a friend is harder.

It's been on my mind a fair bit lately. I always hope for the girls to always have friends, but it's occurred to me that perhaps I should be more consciously teaching them to be a friend as well.

It reminded me of a story about two boys who were talking about the gifts one of the boys had received from his brother. The details don't matter - we could update it and say a Wii, all the games, extra remotes, a BMX bike, etc. You could tell it for adults, with grown-up toys. It goes on and on, covering all manner of amazing gifts. In the end the listener says 'I wish I could...' and you expect him to say he wishes he had such a brother. But he wishes he could be such a brother, someone who could give such gifts.

Since my ponderings began I have learned in real terms, in my experience, that to have friends you have to be a friend. It may not all be with the same person. But I have been richly blessed with friends who looked after me when I needed it. I try to give it back now, to pass it on. It needs to be contagious, amongst many, not amongst two. So far everything I have given has come back to me many, many times over.

On alliteration

One of Elena's favourite games is to ask us to choose a phonic and ask us to come up with words that begin with that sound.

It's great fun, especially when Ray and I get bored with the ordinary orange, Oscar, olive, aunty (remember it's phonetic!)... and leave her behind, trying to outdo each other. Omnipotent. Obsequious. Onomotopaeia. But it does upset Elena! Mostly we stick to her game.

She's also exploring rhyme. Cat, mat, fat, sat, hat...But the first game is much more fun. Even when we keep it simple.

Why is it so much more satisfying to come up with a list of words that share the same first sound than a list of words that simply rhyme?

Cow, car, comic, cartoon, calendar, cat. It's difficult to stop once you get going. But rhymes are so same-y. You know what's coming, they all end the same way.

Now I'm straying blindly - with my hands tied behind my back - into Steven Pinker's mysterious and intriguing area here, but I wonder if it's something to do with story: that beginning the next word with the same letter is like returning to a familiar character, and seeing what they're going to do next.

If Pinker can argue that our grammar (datives) is driven by the brain's spatial awareness, I'll amuse myself by arguing that phonics games are fun for the same reasons stories are. We get familiar with the character, we wonder what they're going to do next, and then we're surprised by the ending. Phonics games aren't stories, because they don't mean anything. But they have the 'somebody does something' bit. It keeps us happy!

Pen is mightier

My fingers knew more about my state of mind than I did.

I meant to type 'communication.'

I typed 'comm-ammunition.'

Habits of language

H and I were chatting today. We are very different; where she has strengths, I have what we like to call ‘lesser strengths,’ and vice versa. We make up for each other.

She was talking about the pain of composing a letter. I pointed out that there is no harm in finding a few set phrases to rely on. Every situation may be new, but you don’t need every word to be an original composition. I’m quite partial to starting correspondence off with ‘Just a little note to say…’—and then I say it. I have set phrases for ending as well. It’s part of how I help people revise their letters in the company, to find the language that really shows customers we care, and then stick with it, making the details fresh and personal every time, but using the same words for the stuff that stays the same.

And then I got to thinking about how much of our conversational language must repeat in similar ways. There was a fascinating article a few years back in New Scientist (I've got a copy saved if you want to see it) about whether we as a species exercise as much free will as we think we do. The premise was that because our movements are habitual, trackable, and therefore predictable, we don’t actually make as many independent decisions as we think we do. If our movements and activities are habitual, and our turns of phrase, attitude, culture, generation, vocabulary, accent, syntax add up to our unique tone of voice, could a sort of cloud utility or layering tool be run over all the language a person uses, and come up with a view of the top 20% of what they say (relying on Pareto to come through again here!)?

I have a friend who starts most sentences, ‘You know something…’ Because I’ve noticed, I’m very conscious of it. But looking at it from the point of view of relating to people, it’s a great phrase to repeat, because it sounds like she is getting right close to her listener, agreeing with what they’ve said, and showing them another point to add onto their view. She uses it even when she’s disagreeing, and it works, she always sounds like she’s still getting on with them, when she’s actually dragging them along to see it her way. Has this tiny but powerful phrase helped her along to her very powerful job?

On the other hand, her husband is partial to the phrase ‘Actually being totally honest…’—and it always sets me up to think that he’s disagreeing with me. It would be fascinating to run their actual points—the substance within their set phrases—through their partner’s linguistic frame, and see whether they come out sounding less or more agreeable.

And I wonder: is he actually disagreeable, or is it his phrasing? Is she actually so good at relating, or is it the terms she couches it in? And do the words they use actually make them that way, despite who they might be?

Dragonfly

Elena asks big questions. And small ones, but the big ones lend themselves more to stories.

The other morning over breakfast she asked if she would be able to come back after she goes to heaven. One of her friends is in hospital with a brain tumour, so she’s thinking about the big things.

My friend Sarah W, a primary school teahcer, had told me this story in relation to the afterlife question. After a quick lesson on the life cycle of dragonflies, it came in very useful:

Dragonflies start out living their lives under the water, and that’s all they know, and that’s okay. It’s dark, and it’s cold, and it’s wet, but they have been there all their lives, and they are there together, so they are happy. Sometimes they can see a bit of sunlight come through the water, and they know that comes from another place. And sometimes their dragonfly friends go above the water, and they miss them very much, because they never, ever come back for a visit. They think a lot about the other side, above the water, and many dragonflies promise to come back again and tell them what it’s like. But none ever does. When the dragonflies do grow their wings and go to fly, they discover air, and warmth, and sunlight on their backs, and they see the colours in their wings, and they are happier than they knew they could be. Sometimes they go near the water to look in, but they can’t go back again, and they are just happy that their dragonfly friends will one day soon grow wings, and come to enjoy being in the air, as well.

Elena was satisfied with that…and went into her next question, which led to whether it’s ethical to grow animals for food… all this over a bowl of Cheerios! Elena asks big questions. And small ones, but the big ones lend themselves more to stories.

 

Seeking passion

I wrote this. It was published on our company intranet today. 15,000 people could see it.

I was given an hour. I went for a walk, getting my head round what the need was really about, trying to think of an appropriate story. And I realised that the best story was a non-story, just a memorable exchange of words in our office the other day, which to the right reader would create absolutely the right meaning for them.

See, the jury's still out, for me, on whether to develop a catalog of stories. I often find that the story I need is one that I didn't even recognise as a story, at the time: it becomes a story in the retelling, when it means something to the listener.

Here you go. 

Annette x

Seeking passion

A few weeks back, Luke in Norwich said, 'I want to write.'

Let's stop there. What are you thinking, right now?

Because his colleague who sits behind him said straightaway, 'So do we all.'

Turns out Luke was trying to draft a tricky email. But his colleague is a writer, outside of her day job. It's what she longs to do, she wakes up thinking about it, and at night she lies awake relishing the words she's just been creating, watching them soar in her head.

By day she's Annette King, Customer Service Representative.

By night she's A. M. King, Blogger, magazine editor, scriptwriter, playing with the language, expressing her soul.

What about you? Are you a secret member of the Apostrophe Preservation Society? Do you write poetry in the evenings or have an unfinished novel stuffed away in your top drawer? And did you get the joke about the panda that eats shoots and leaves*, and think it was the funniest thing you've ever heard?

And more importantly: have you experienced first-hand how words can change how people feel? Do you listen 'between the lines', and understand what customers are saying, even when they can't necessarily articulate it themselves?

We're looking for people to become experts in our Aviva Tone of Voice, both written and spoken, to take it into our operational business and cascade the training that will change the way we speak and write to customers.

We need people from right across Operations who love language, whether spoken or written, and who are so passionate about it that they can't tear themselves away from it. You'll probably already be in amateur theatre, writing workshops, or poetry readings, something that gives you an outlet for your creative interest and a way to express your love of the language.

It's not a change of role we're offering: it's a chance to bring what you love into your current job, to show off your abilities, and to shine at work. You will bring the brand to life for our customers and help your colleagues do the same by spreading your knowledge and passion throughout Operations.

On top of that, in return for your time you will work closely with professionals from inside and outside the business, building a solid understanding and agreement for how COMPANY sounds in Operations. Since it's not long before we become One COMPANY, we need to move quickly.

So show us you've got the initiative you'll need: your manager may not know that you have this talent, pluck up the nerve and let them know you're interested by Friday so we can begin working together as soon as possible.

We can't wait to meet you!

Attachment: role profile

*A panda walks into a cafe, has a bite to eat, and then takes out a gun and shoots the place up (no one was injured, it just made a bit of a mess).

When the dust settles, and the panda's on his way out the door, the cafe owner peers out from over the counter, and asks, 'But why?'

The panda turns back and throws him a dictionary.

'I'm a panda,' he says. 'Look it up.'

Confused, the cafe owner turns to P and looks up 'panda.' And there he sees a picture not unlike his visitor, with the words 'Panda. Eats, shoots, and leaves.'